Oh, garlic, how I love thee. Let me count the ways: Whole, sliced, chopped, diced, minced, grated, sautéed, fried, simmered, roasted, smashed etc. etc. etc. This list could go on for days and days about my never-ending love for the ultimate root vegetable known as garlic.
I mean, what else is there to say that no one else has said before? Garlic is the epitome of the ultimate flavor-enhancer for every dish. It does what bacon does for a lot of dishes: makes it 10x better. Soup boring? Throw in some garlic. Marinara bland? Throw in some garlic. Mayo not giving you that edge? Throw in some garlic. Seriously, just try throwing garlic into anything and tell me it does not taste amazing afterwards. I'll wait, I'm patient........GAH, RIGHT!? ISN'T GARLIC FANTASTIC!? If I had to estimate how much garlic I have used throughout my years of cooking, I think it's safe for me to say that I'd be the eliminator of the vampire race by this point. 95% of dishes I make require garlic because it makes them that much better. I mean, come on, you think anyone is going to just go for the regular piece of bread with butter and think it's incredible? While it is really good, throwing garlic in it though makes it perfect. The sweet aroma of sharpness infusing into that soft butter, taking every bit of garlic it can take, then spread that on some damn good crusty bread, you'll feel lost in translation. I'm really not joking when I say I use a lot of garlic. For me, I feel like I never have enough. I once bought a panty-hose full of garlic, and I don't think that even lasted a week. That is how much I love it and use it. Especially when I'm ready to make a nice marinara sauce or tomato soup, the part I look forward to the most is when the butter or olive oil get in contact with the garlic, and causes my kitchen to smell like Absolute heaven. I don't know what chemical it is that causes that aroma to happen, but I'd rather not question it because it is just too good to even question how something that amazing can happen. I'll admit it, I was a big wuss when it came to prepping garlic. I'd always use cheats such as buying pre-chopped garlic, when I finally realized I couldn't taste any of that crap when I used it. But once I bettered my knife skills, I couldn't wait to get my knife to work on chopping it up. The thought of mincing it to get those garlic juices perfuming into my nostrils would be the highlight of my day. I wouldn't care if it made my fingers smell a biteen funky because I wasn't trying to impress anyone. Then again, how is garlic not impressive already? Now if you're still not comfortable chopping your own garlic up, do not worry one bit. I recently discovered there is a way to prepare minced garlic without you having to do a lot of work. Got a lemon-zester? Great! Take a whole garlic clove (peeled, of course), and just grate it so you get a finely minced garlic. Not only is it easier than chopping it, but even better because once it's grated, you release more of those hidden garlic juices inside to get a more pungent garlic flavor. You're welcome, world. One of my favorite things to do with garlic is roast it. Ever have roasted garlic? No? Why not? It's the most unbelievable thing you can do with garlic! And it's not complicated to do at all. All you do is take 3 bulbs of garlic, cut off the tops but making sure the garlic stays in contact, drizzle some olive oil, and sprinkle some salt and pepper on the top, and let those babies roast in a 400 degree oven for 45 minutes to an hour. While it's all roasting, your whole house is going to smell like something Febreeze should be doing for their next scented sprays. Gah, wouldn't that make a great commercial? Blindfold me, place me in a room full of garbage, but spray that whole place with roasted garlic Febreeze, and I won't care where I'm sitting at. Recently, I've figured out how to properly make garlic-infused olive oil. What I did in the past was just place a few smashed garlic cloves and cover it with olive oil thinking that would do the trick. I found out it was no bueno because I couldn't even taste the garlic. Then I found out how to properly do so: Simmer that garlic in the olive oil. What I do is take one of my squeeze bottles, pour the olive oil into it, then pour that into a saucepan (that way you don't have to measure it out the complicated way). Then I throw in about 5-12 garlic cloves into the sauce pan with the olive oil, and let that simmer until the garlic is golden brown and smells amazing. By the way, once you're done straining those garlic cloves out, do NOT throw those away. Those are still very helpful. Besides, after letting them simmer, they form such a freaking ridiculous sweet smell to them, you'll be happy you went through the work of making your own oil. Use it for aiolis, dips, even ice cream (yes, garlic ice cream is a real thing, research that). This post shouldn't be news to the lot of people, but oh, one of my absolute favorite things to talk about is garlic. Garlic is so good, it's even to have said that it can help you live longer. Yeah, who'd have thought one of the most amazing vegetables on the planet could help you live longer than you thought? Garlic, thank you for your presence not only in the culinary world, but the world itself. We don't care how many breath mints it takes for us to get rid of your stench or how many bars of soap we go through to get you off our fingers, we thank you for everything you have given us. Now if only we can find a way to make you a cologne... PS: Apparently there is such a thing as black garlic, which is a form of fermented garlic with a ton of nutrients inside. While regular garlic may help you live longer, I've read that black garlic can make you immortal...
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The character Lorne Malvo, played by Billy Bob Thorton, from the FX television series Fargo isn't exactly the role model everyone aspires to be. However, there is one quote of his that stood out to me the most while watching the series: "Your problem is you spent your whole life thinking there are rules. There aren't." While there are a lot of philosophical debates to be had about this, that is a subject of a different matter. In this instance, I'm using it as a reference for kitchen rules.
Of course there are rules involving safety, such as not cutting yourself, burning yourself, and proper sanitation. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that some rules in the kitchen were meant to be broken. A lot of people expect the standard "meat and potatoes" shit you hear all the time. Why stop there though? Why not experiment something a little different? What if you could still eat the same thing, just jazz it up a little, eh? Eh? I'm not a professional in any way, but in my years of cooking, I've developed my own little set of rules whenever I'm in my kitchen. I like to consider them the 10 Commandments of the Kitchen with the Kitchen being my church and my cooking equipment being the priests to guide me. They may vary from person to person, but feel free to use these at any time because, in the end, you are your own person and you can do whatever the fuck you want because it's your fucking life and you carpe diem the hell out of it. Let's get the service going, shall we? Commandment #10: Great music and a nice glass of whatever you desire to drink can certainly make cooking a lot more enjoyable. Normally when I'm cooking, I get so into it, I completely forget to turn my music on. However, once I do have my tunes blasting, it certainly puts me in better spirits and enhances enjoyment for cooking. Especially when you have a glass of damn good wine (cheap, not cheap, whatever the fuck you like to drink), cooking becomes not even a hobby, it becomes an absolute friggin' pleasure. Because who wouldn't want to cook with Frank Sinatra's The Way You Look Tonight blasting in the background while you're sipping on a glass of Yellow Tail wine? (Yes, I drink that cheap shit because that cheap shit is awesome). Seriously, try it out sometime, and watch yourself enter a world where you feel like anything is possible in the kitchen. Commandment #9: Cleaning as you go will make your life so much easier. I'll admit, I used to be lazy as fuck when it came to cleaning my kitchen after cooking. My mother, bless her heart, would be in such bitter spirits whenever I cooked, not because of the food I made, but because of the mess she knew she would be cleaning up afterwards. I decided to finally break that trend and make her life a helluva lot easier because a boy's best friend is his mother and I wanna make mother happy. Benefits of cleaning as you go include: more counter space, less worry about how many dishes will be piling up in the sink, and a damn clean kitchen will take that chip off your shoulder (unless it's a potato chip, keep that shit on there because I'll be saving that for later). Don't take the lazy route, think ahead and let Mary Poppins allow that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down and get that kitchen sparkly. Commandment #8: Squeeze bottles and oil & vinegar bottles are the bomb. I underestimated squeeze bottles and oil bottles in the past. I just thought they'd be a waste of time just pouring something from a bottle into another bottle. But getting these sons of bitches puts you in better control. You know how you sometimes see awesome designs with sauces in the form of little lines zigzagging across one another? That's the magic of a squeeze bottle right there. You feel more in control and less worried that you're going to pour out too much or too little of something onto a plate. Same goes for oil and vinegar bottles. You're in more control of how much you pour out rather than using those heavy-ass bottles oil normally comes in. Make life easier, get squeeze bottles and oil bottles. Commandment #7: Cooking is an art, baking is a science. This is a topic that is still debatable, but in the thick of things, while precise measuring doesn't apply much while cooking, it sure as shit does with baking. The thing about cooking is that if you mess up something, you can fix it or just go with it (because those can sometimes be happy accidents). But with baking, once you got everything set, you better be damn sure every thing is precise and exactly the way you want it because once it is in the oven, there is no going back. Imagine cooking and baking like right brain and left brain: Cooking is the right brain because that is the creative and more imaginative side of the brain. Baking is the left brain because, while creativity still sparks with it, it follows more logic and science into it. In my time of visiting culinary schools, one of them was the Arizona Culinary Institute in Scottsdale. While that is not the school I'll be attending, the one thing I took away was, "If you know how to cook, great. If you know how to bake, great. If you know how to do both, you're set for life." Just remember that the rules are slightly different when it comes to cooking and baking. Commandment #6: Try one recipe, then try another. Then master the recipe on your own terms. In order to be able to cook without recipes and use your own rhythm, you must first start with recipes to begin with. When I say try one recipe and try another, what I mean is try something you really like, then try a completely different version of that dish. For instance, say your favorite dish is mac and cheese. Find a recipe of mac and cheese and try it. Once you've tried that, try another and see how that one suits your fancy. After you continue cooking the same recipes, it's like memorizing your favorite song: you know what lyric is coming up next and your ready to belt the hell out of that solo part. But rather than just stick the usual singing tone you know the song is, why not change it up? It doesn't have to be just the same singing voice the song uses. Use your own damn voice because you shouldn't let that be put to waste and try a different tone and see what you are capable of. Just like trying a different way of looking at mac and cheese. Rather than just stick to cheddar all the time, why not throw in gouda? Or gruyere? Or bleu cheese (my favorite). Or a multiple assortment of cheeses? Once you've finally found that rhythm in a recipe you enjoy, always take a chance to try something different and see what all else that mac and cheese dish of yours is capable of. Always try new stuff. Commandment #5: Good company and positive enthusiasm makes cooking even better. It's one thing to be proud of a dish you made after you taste it, but it's an even better experience when you're able to share your dish with others. Whether they be family, friends, neighbors, or some stranger you've never met before (make sure he or she is safe though, you don't want any stranger danger shit happening), when you give them something you put your soul into and are willing to share it to the world, a lot can happen. For better or worse, it becomes an adrenaline rush. But the kicker of it all is when that person takes the first bite of the dish, and they give you the sign that says you did it all: Total silence and slow bites of enjoyment of eating that food. How the hell couldn't you be happy after that? It's the best damn feeling I could get whenever I share food with friends and family because it makes not only my day a little brighter, but their day as well. So don't just cook for yourself, cook with others and for others because it's way more enjoyable to watch others enjoy your food. Commandment #4: It's not what is cooked, but how. It's not what is cooked, but how it is cooked. You can have the same ingredients for one dish, but how you cook it is what will make the difference. Take for instance eggs. Eggs are one of the most versatile ingredients you can cook. You can scramble 'em, poach 'em, fry 'em, bake 'em, boil 'em mash 'em stick 'em in a stew (couldn't resist). But the main thing about eggs is that even if you use the same amount of butter, the same amount of seasoning, and the same amount of eggs, you can get a completely different result and even taste by how you cook it. I was recently introduced to French-style scrambled eggs which are eggs cooked over a bain-marie (water bath), and slowly cooked until small curds form and they have a risotto-like texture. I took one bite of it, and I felt like I was eating a fucking five-star meal. I couldn't believe how diverse and luxurious these eggs were, and I used the same amount of ingredients I use for all my eggs. That's the joy of cooking: There's never just one way to prepare something. How you cook it is what will set it off the damn map. Commandment #3: Simplicity is masterful. Who says you need a thousand ingredients to make your dish epic? That's bullshit. You don't need to make life complicated to make dishes extraordinary. The lot of the time, great quality ingredients you have will do all the work for you. One dish that comes to mind is salsa. For me, I'm a purest when it comes to making salsa. I don't use a cabinet full of spices or an excessive amount of vinegar (though that is tasty, do not get me wrong). I just let the vegetables do the work for me. Just using simple things like tomatoes, jalapenos, onions, garlic, cilantro, salt, and lime juice will make life easier because I know those vegetables are telling me, "Chill the fuck out, dude, we got this". So don't think you have to impress people because you use a lot of ingredients, impress them with how you made the dish. Commandment #2: Take care of your cooking equipment and your cooking equipment will take care of you. From sharpening your knives to seasoning your cast-iron skillets, the more take care of your cooking equipment, you will be in better hands. A lot of times people struggle with cooking equipment because they don't take proper care of it and won't give you the same result you had when you first tried it out. Say you had a damn good knife to use and was always your go-to because it got the job done, but you never took proper care of it and let it dull the fuck out. Cooking equipment is like taking care of a pet: the more love you put into them, the happier they are going to be. Instead of letting that knife chip around in a dishwasher, hand-wash it and dry it with a towel. Instead of letting it dull out because it's not as sharp as it was, sharpen it so it has that edge again. Don't keep investing money in new equipment constantly, just take care of the equipment you have and it will pay you back the favor of doing so. Commandment #1: ENJOY COOKING. Don't think of cooking as a duty. Don't think of cooking as a life/death sentence. Just have fun. I think that's part of what intimidates people the most about cooking is because they're afraid at first. That's totally fine, everyone gets nervous about trying something different. But don't be so afraid that your life depends on it. Just enjoy the experience, try something you've never tried before, try something you've always been willing to try, but on top of that, have some damn fun with it, too! Even if something doesn't come out the way you want to, still enjoy it because now you know what you can do better next time, and when you try it again, your soul will feel as refreshed as chewing on a piece of Orbit gum. Don't be scared, just enjoy the ride. Here endeth the lesson. Hello hello. How are you doing today? Hopefully you're doing well because we are all alive and walking on this here place we know as Earth: a place full of life, diversity, culture, art, and thoughts of the unknown. But the kicker that does it for me: Food.
Food has been a life-changer for me ever since I learned how to cook. My start was back in high school taking a course called Meal Management. Originally, I was just taking it to get a damn credit because I was a senior and just wanted to graduate. I had no interest in even thinking about cooking whatsoever because, let's be honest, nearly the last thing the lot of teenagers want to do is more work. But on my first day there, something happened. Who knows, lightening striking my head to get rid of all the cobwebs of a brain that wasn't as active because I was too damn lazy to do anything, worked it's way into the processors of my brain and struck a match and lit a candle to a place I would've never thought I'd be on: The road to cooking. We learned all the basics of cooking, proper knife skills, how to season properly, yada yada yada. Being at age 23, I spent the last six years self-teaching myself and building up my own skills in the kitchen to be a proper chef. From better knife skills, to kitchen sanitation, to making the lot of foods from scratch, cooking became an addiction no rehab could cure. I think that's when you know why you were placed here on this earth (other than the fact that some magical woman held you in her stomach for 9 months then gave birth to you and brought you into the world): When you finally find something you're truly good at and crave doing every day. Food and cooking does this for me and continues to do so. This could be getting too deep, but I've really got to say cooking saved my life. In high school, I was not the same person I am now. I won't sugarcoat it, I was an asshole. I was often very snobbish, never really participated in class-discussion, lazy as fuck, never acknowledged anyone else's opinion but my own, thought I was tough shit, and often depressed. Yes, I did and still have great friends from high school, people I will cherish until the day I die, but I often felt lonely a lot of those times. I would never really want to go out and hang out like some of them did. I would just hang out at home, eat unhealthily amounts of crappy food, drink my weight in sodas, and never felt a spark of self-esteem whatsoever. I mention in my mini-bio that I also have an appreciation for theatre and films. I do love getting on stage and acting. From high school to community theatre, getting the chance to be able to play a character that is complete opposite of you is freaking awesome. Not because of the thrill of getting on stage and acting your heart out with your fellow cast-mates, but just the thought of digging into your soul that makes you question your own moral codes as well. As much as I love theatre, I realized it is not the passion I wished to pursue. The same goes for films. I could go hours and hours talking and discussing movies. I've been blessed with a lot of friends who share the same love and discussion for movies as much as I do, some of them soon to be some of the best filmmakers in the world. My top favorite movies are Pulp Fiction, American Beauty, Ratatouille, Blazing Saddles, The Big Lebowski, Amadeus, The Usual Suspects, Little Miss Sunshine, Schindler's List, and Sideways. I once even thought about becoming a film critic one day. But again, as much as I love movies, it was not something I wanted to pursue (1. I'm not smart enough to give a universally great description of a movie; 2. a lot of critics now a days should not even be critics because the lot of them are just assholes). This is when food became a game-changer for me: I realized the lot of time I spend in my house is about 80% in the kitchen (the rest is television, bedroom, and with the family because those matter, too). After making and creating dishes I wouldn't find anywhere else gave me such an adrenaline rush. It's become something I actually lose myself in, like the kitchen has become my personal heaven. Whenever I get started on a meal, everything else around me shuts off. I become so focused on what to do to make a dish that I often don't even need background noise to get my juices going. The thought of what lies ahead for the food I'm making is all it takes for me to get into my zone and prep the fuck out of food. How did this all change my life from being a lazy-ass idiot? It introduced me into the world of sharing what I love and making people happy. I have matured greatly ever since high school. I'm more social, I've become more open-minded to thoughts and ideas, I've become less judgmental of others around me, and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. Not to say that every day is a cakewalk because we all face our own demons, but I just feel I'm a better person than what I was. I'll admit, there are things I wish I could take back and have done different. But at the same time, I'm not. Had I not done all the things I did, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Every step I took since I started breathing has brought me up to this point. There's nothing I can do about the past, but present and future allows me to make-up for that. And the best way for me to express my gratitude to my friends is food. Not only has food granted me the ability to gain self-confidence in what I am capable of, but it also allows me to share it with others and make those people happy. I love cooking for myself, but getting the chance to share foods with my friends and see them embrace the food without saying a word gives me the sensation of seeing the most beautiful thing in the world. It let's me know "you did it: you made someones day better. You go, motherfucker." I think that's the real kicker of why we pursue our passions so much, because we get to share it with the world and let the world know what we are all capable of. And what better way than give the world foods that will light the candle in their stomach up with a light of joy? You're probably reading this going, "I was expecting to see more about food, but Jesus, this guy got very deep in this post." Not to sound pompous or anything, but I've reached a point in my life where I am just tired of not being able to express things that most wouldn't really talk about. It's like discussing sex: no one wants to talk about it in public places because it's not a public topic. I guess it's because I was never an open person about expressing myself and what my feelings were. It could also be because we've lived in a society where it's "not cool" to express emotions. Anyone who tells you that "real men or women don't show their tears" can shut the hell up. We are all human beings, we all have emotions, we all have stories to tell, we are not lifeless creatures. The universe or God put us here for a reason. The reason is still up to question, but for me, it's figuring out our own purpose and role we play. We won't be here forever, but we can leave something behind that will be. And for me, I want that thing to be food. My name is Steven Joseph Stanek, and this is The Life of the Aspiring Chef. |