Hello hello. How are you doing today? Hopefully you're doing well because we are all alive and walking on this here place we know as Earth: a place full of life, diversity, culture, art, and thoughts of the unknown. But the kicker that does it for me: Food.
Food has been a life-changer for me ever since I learned how to cook. My start was back in high school taking a course called Meal Management. Originally, I was just taking it to get a damn credit because I was a senior and just wanted to graduate. I had no interest in even thinking about cooking whatsoever because, let's be honest, nearly the last thing the lot of teenagers want to do is more work.
But on my first day there, something happened. Who knows, lightening striking my head to get rid of all the cobwebs of a brain that wasn't as active because I was too damn lazy to do anything, worked it's way into the processors of my brain and struck a match and lit a candle to a place I would've never thought I'd be on: The road to cooking. We learned all the basics of cooking, proper knife skills, how to season properly, yada yada yada.
Being at age 23, I spent the last six years self-teaching myself and building up my own skills in the kitchen to be a proper chef. From better knife skills, to kitchen sanitation, to making the lot of foods from scratch, cooking became an addiction no rehab could cure. I think that's when you know why you were placed here on this earth (other than the fact that some magical woman held you in her stomach for 9 months then gave birth to you and brought you into the world): When you finally find something you're truly good at and crave doing every day. Food and cooking does this for me and continues to do so.
This could be getting too deep, but I've really got to say cooking saved my life. In high school, I was not the same person I am now. I won't sugarcoat it, I was an asshole. I was often very snobbish, never really participated in class-discussion, lazy as fuck, never acknowledged anyone else's opinion but my own, thought I was tough shit, and often depressed. Yes, I did and still have great friends from high school, people I will cherish until the day I die, but I often felt lonely a lot of those times. I would never really want to go out and hang out like some of them did. I would just hang out at home, eat unhealthily amounts of crappy food, drink my weight in sodas, and never felt a spark of self-esteem whatsoever.
I mention in my mini-bio that I also have an appreciation for theatre and films. I do love getting on stage and acting. From high school to community theatre, getting the chance to be able to play a character that is complete opposite of you is freaking awesome. Not because of the thrill of getting on stage and acting your heart out with your fellow cast-mates, but just the thought of digging into your soul that makes you question your own moral codes as well. As much as I love theatre, I realized it is not the passion I wished to pursue.
The same goes for films. I could go hours and hours talking and discussing movies. I've been blessed with a lot of friends who share the same love and discussion for movies as much as I do, some of them soon to be some of the best filmmakers in the world. My top favorite movies are Pulp Fiction, American Beauty, Ratatouille, Blazing Saddles, The Big Lebowski, Amadeus, The Usual Suspects, Little Miss Sunshine, Schindler's List, and Sideways. I once even thought about becoming a film critic one day. But again, as much as I love movies, it was not something I wanted to pursue (1. I'm not smart enough to give a universally great description of a movie; 2. a lot of critics now a days should not even be critics because the lot of them are just assholes).
This is when food became a game-changer for me: I realized the lot of time I spend in my house is about 80% in the kitchen (the rest is television, bedroom, and with the family because those matter, too). After making and creating dishes I wouldn't find anywhere else gave me such an adrenaline rush. It's become something I actually lose myself in, like the kitchen has become my personal heaven. Whenever I get started on a meal, everything else around me shuts off. I become so focused on what to do to make a dish that I often don't even need background noise to get my juices going. The thought of what lies ahead for the food I'm making is all it takes for me to get into my zone and prep the fuck out of food.
How did this all change my life from being a lazy-ass idiot? It introduced me into the world of sharing what I love and making people happy. I have matured greatly ever since high school. I'm more social, I've become more open-minded to thoughts and ideas, I've become less judgmental of others around me, and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. Not to say that every day is a cakewalk because we all face our own demons, but I just feel I'm a better person than what I was. I'll admit, there are things I wish I could take back and have done different. But at the same time, I'm not. Had I not done all the things I did, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Every step I took since I started breathing has brought me up to this point. There's nothing I can do about the past, but present and future allows me to make-up for that.
And the best way for me to express my gratitude to my friends is food. Not only has food granted me the ability to gain self-confidence in what I am capable of, but it also allows me to share it with others and make those people happy. I love cooking for myself, but getting the chance to share foods with my friends and see them embrace the food without saying a word gives me the sensation of seeing the most beautiful thing in the world. It let's me know "you did it: you made someones day better. You go, motherfucker." I think that's the real kicker of why we pursue our passions so much, because we get to share it with the world and let the world know what we are all capable of. And what better way than give the world foods that will light the candle in their stomach up with a light of joy?
You're probably reading this going, "I was expecting to see more about food, but Jesus, this guy got very deep in this post." Not to sound pompous or anything, but I've reached a point in my life where I am just tired of not being able to express things that most wouldn't really talk about. It's like discussing sex: no one wants to talk about it in public places because it's not a public topic. I guess it's because I was never an open person about expressing myself and what my feelings were. It could also be because we've lived in a society where it's "not cool" to express emotions. Anyone who tells you that "real men or women don't show their tears" can shut the hell up. We are all human beings, we all have emotions, we all have stories to tell, we are not lifeless creatures. The universe or God put us here for a reason. The reason is still up to question, but for me, it's figuring out our own purpose and role we play. We won't be here forever, but we can leave something behind that will be. And for me, I want that thing to be food.
My name is Steven Joseph Stanek, and this is The Life of the Aspiring Chef.